I panicked. My hand was in my pocket, no phone. I checked my purse, no phone. I check my other pocket, no phone. My heart was racing as fast as my mind was trying to remember what I did with it!
I had it in the grocery store a minute ago. “Yikes, I left it in the cart,” I yelled at myself. I sprinted back to my shopping cart and there it was, hiding under the newspaper advertisement.
My heart rate slowed and I said a silent, “Thank you, God!”
A couple weeks ago I spent an hour looking for my checkbook. I couldn’t remember that last time I had it since I rarely use it. Finding it was necessary, as I needed to write a check for an unpaid bill. I tried to let it go but random considerations interrupted my day. The funny thing is, I didn’t even know I was missing my checkbook until I needed it.
This reminded me of when I’ve felt like God was absent in my life. A few years ago our family was devastated by the deaths of several significant people. I suffered with grief and found myself doing life on cruise control.
I knew in my head that God was with me, but I couldn’t feel Him. He was missing. I touched this deep void in my life.
God had been a constant, felt companion for over 20 years. He had been my guide, friend, father and comforter. Until I felt the empty space, I hadn’t recognized my connection to him was absent. In Awaken your Senses, Brent Bill states it like this, “Touching the missingness reveals the loss.”
I’m not the first, nor the last to experience God’s absence. It doesn’t feel good. Truthfully, God isn’t absent because he promises to never leave us (Deuteronomy 31:6b “He will never fail you or abandon you!” The Voice).
If I had not felt the absence of my phone or checkbook, I wouldn’t have gone on a search. Permanently losing my phone wouldn’t have been the end of the world, (financially painful) but it had my “whole life” in it. I was a little freaked!!
Feeling the void of God’s presence can either lead us to despair or help us pursue the divine presence who gives us hope, life and purpose. God promises in Jeremiah 29:13, “When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.”
Today, I’m reminded that when I reach for my missing phone or checkbook, He’s nudging me to find Him.
Touching the missingness reveals the loss ~ Bill and Booram
Sometimes I lose touch with God. I can’t do life on my own; even though I give it an extensive effort. The longer I am unaware of my lost “checkbook”, the more empty, chaotic or disjointed my life becomes. Maybe God is reminding me that I need Him to make deposits in my life so I can write legitimate checks!
When there’s a feeling that something is missing, God is revealing the loss. He’s exposing my need for Him. I thought I was looking for my phone and checkbook, but instead God was elbowing me to find Him.
Remember this one thing.
When something is missing, reflect on this.
As you’re looking for the earthly item you’ve lost or notice something is gone, remember that God may be reminding you to reconnect with Him. Even though you’re in search for something specific, God has a surprise for you. Himself.
When you recognize the loss, ask yourself, “Do I feel the Lord’s absence?” If not, how can you go on a search for Him?
He devotedly reveals our need for Him and touches us with his love. Next time you reach for something and can’t find it; God may be reaching for you.
This writing is inspired by the book, Awaken Your Senses, by Bill and Booram